Betrayal, Desires, Despair, and Love
by Goten0040
Summary: Kikyou and Sesshoumaru team up together. Not only do they find out Naraku's secrets, but find a love in each other as well. Now they must go against their own will and finally find peace with IY. Sess/Kik. R&R (Something also happens to Sess!)
1. The eyes that have seen and are seeing

Betrayal, Desires, Despair, and Love

Why…

That was a question asked many times.

Why did it happen to ME? What have I done to deserve this? 

Questions like this are never answered for thee must answer them with your own mind. These questions are never answered due to blaming the others, those only involved in the situation, those whom you consider cruel and hateful for not saving you. 

You don't always get a second chance…

When you do, you are not always thankful…

Kikyou watched her dragons' approach and surround her body, souls leaking into her like heat on a freezing cold day. She sighed softly.

So many shadows…

They seemed to surround her- like so many others. 

Hatred…

She felt it deep in her veins, black like tar. She wished against it. It had led her to Hell, a place where a priestess would never belong. Now, she walked- no, trudged on with her stupid, non-existent life. She had nothing to live for. No smiles, no hope, no love!

Love…

She no longer knew and part of her hoped to never know it again. But another part, deep inside her heart wanted it- longed for it. It was an illness, one no herb could control.

Inuyasha?

She turned around, seeing only the mist, forming the vision of her old lover.

"Inuyasha!" she tried to yell, it being covered by the young girl's yelp.

It was strange to see her. Her own soul lived in the body of the young woman, one in which she hated. She hated herself- how ironic. It was an awful feeling but none new to her now. She touched her own face, feeling the cold hard slap- but no one was there to give it. A tear stroked her moonlit cheek. She had not felt such feelings in a while. 

Sadness…

~~~

Question: why?

A non-existent question to one whom asks no question. Only those whom are obsolete can determine who and who does not answer nor ask questions. The only questions these kind ask are only too perplexing to our own minds.

Sesshoumaru believed in this thoroughly, though he dare not show belief anything but himself.

Mercy?

What a word! And yet, he caught himself showing it when Rin was present.

That strange little girl… causing him to do such things. He wasn't quite sure how she did it either. He would think about it until his head ached slightly. Frustration took over and he rolled over on his side, staring at the young girl, cuddled into his giant, fluffy tail, sleeping soundly in the moonlight.   


Insomnia…

Sesshoumaru knew that well. When he had traveled all this time alone, or with his companion, Jaken, with no sleep, it just never seemed to come. He never felt tired and his body never exhausted, at least not for long. He shivered slightly as a shadow of a cloud was cast upon his body. 

Shadows…

There were way too many. He hated them. At points he could see them change into those of the damned.

Inuyasha, his wench, Kagome, - and all those other unfortunate bastards.

But…

Perhaps he was the unfortunate one. He was the lord of the western lands, yet, to his dismay, was given a phony sword, only used to heal. He was not one to heal! If hadn't had it, he wouldn't show mercy because of a child attaching herself to his leg. Nay, it was his own fault. He was the one who had healed her. It was unfair. Why did Inuyasha obtain his father's legacy, when HE, the great Sesshoumaru, was not even allowed to touch it without the aid of Naraku. He never asked many questions for not much perplexed him, but this, however, was too much. It was most likely for the love of that- shall he say it- mortal woman. How could he have gone so low?! It had only been a month or so since the death of his own mother! He softly closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, finally drifting into a light but undisturbed sleep.

~~~

Kikyou groaned as she noticed the sun rising, an orange ball filling the still dark sky. She used to love it so. She also used to love Inuyasha, though. Strange, things that you love so much can quickly change into hatred. There was that word again. She preferred to despise things- hate was not an option to a miko, especially her. She wasn't really considered a miko, however. She was basically dead, just wandering around aimlessly with no intention but revenge. That was how she lived out almost every day of her life now, except for her occasional stay in villages.

Memories!

No! They had to stay out of her mind! Those memories were no longer. Her sister was old and foolish. He loved one, evil, HERSELF, a disgraceful woman who wore small outfits instead of that of a pure miko! But, she wasn't a miko. She was Inuyasha's new lover and there was nothing she could do about it. There was no point to it. This was worse than Hell! Why couldn't she just die and not remember anything?! How many questions did she ask herself though? Far too many, obviously.

The warmth from the sun was not welcome. She walked by night. She liked it better that way. She was a child of the moon and looked that was too, while Kagome was the exact opposite.

Two spirits may be similar but not one is alike, even in reincarnation.

She sat in the dew-covered grass and stared at the sparkling creek. It was so lovely, but she wouldn't know, because she was Kikyou, evil terror, and clay pot. What a load of bull shit! She had feelings! She tried to show them! But she also had dignity and pride, things she had not normally cared about in her past life.

Her past life?

Was that what it was? That was what she referred it to, but was she truly correct? She was not her reincarnation. She was just… there. That was all. She had nothing and nobody and she convinced herself she didn't want it. She was beginning to realize, however, that she was kidding herself. She desperately longed for someone to love, someone with a small intention of protection, someone to hold her in his arms the way Inuyasha once did. That was all over now. All she wanted to do was kill Inuyasha. 

And that was exactly what she was going to do……… 

~~~

"Lord Sesshoumaru!" a call beckoned, awaking the demon from a much-needed sleep.

"What is it, Jaken?" he asked the one who had been keeping watch.

"Someone is coming," he said in his scratchy tone.

Sesshoumaru stretched and stood. He walked up next to his small companion and stared out across the horizon. A young woman seemed to trudge mindlessly toward them. Her scent was familiar. It was a lot like the young woman that traveled with Inuyasha's scent, but it was different. It had a sadness behind it. Not only that, but it had the soft smell of the ash of Hell. This was not Inuyasha's woman. This was his ex. This was the young priestess, Kikyou, who was cursed to those around her. Demons considered her against them, as did humans, which meant everyone hated her. There was something alluring about her though. Something lingered at very tips of her hair, flowed through her body, and glowed on her tender hands.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, who is pretty lady?" Rin asked sleepily.

"Go back to sleep, Rin," Sesshoumaru said, irritated that she had awoken.

~~~

Kikyou turned her head upward, squinting her eyes to try and understand who she was seeing. She wasn't exactly sure, but whoever it was reminded her of Inuyasha. Silver hair seemed to catch every whiff of every wind. His golden eyes glowed with murder and satisfaction. He was quite handsome and his face had the markings of a demon, a dog demon no less. She had one question threatening her mind.

Who was this guy?


	2. Travel with a beauty

Chapter Two

Her mind seemed to wander as she watched this silver- haired man. He stared into her eyes, as did she. She felt as if they were one for that small moment. He turned away as a small girl ran off to the right and picked a small, yellow flower. She approached her with great caution and held out her hand. 

"For pretty lady," she said.

"Thank you," she said softly. She hadn't received a gift in a while.

"Rin," she said.

"Oh, uh- I'm Kikyou," she said, smiling slightly.

"Rin like Kikyou- chan! Come meet Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Sesshoumaru? That was his name? It was very classy, indeed. She had nothing to lose anyway. Perhaps she could try and make one friend before she was cast into Hell. She slowly followed the perky young girl to the handsome male and his toad stooge.

"Hello," she muttered.

"Rin, you are going to get yourself killed one day by walking up to strangers," he said, completely ignoring her.

"Excuse me, but my name is Kikyou and I will not hurt a child. I am against it."

"Yes, well, it was nice meeting you Kikyou but we must go," he said, starting to turn away.

Something tugged at his leg.

"Kikyou like flowers. Can Kikyou come with Sesshoumaru-sama, Jaken, and Rin?"

Sesshoumaru found it hard to say no to her all of a sudden. He hated when she did that, but what was he to do? The woman was a priestess and knew a lot about herbs. He recalled a time when Rin had hurt herself badly and slowed down their travels. It would be nice to have some medical knowledge around. Not to mention, because she was Inuyasha's old girlfriend, she might make a good distraction on the battlefield. All of the reasons were pointing to yes. He saw deep into Rin's quiet little eyes.

"If she wants to," he said, keeping a serious tone.

"YAY!" Rin yelled, "Kikyou- chan come with Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin, and Jaken!"

Kikyou felt her heart lift slightly. It was amazing how much trust this young girl had in her. She smiled and walked up next to her. She kept up with the steady pace of the dog-demon and enjoyed the young girl's company. It was like being with Kaede again. Jaken, however, she didn't exactly approve of because he cared not for her. He kept beckoning to his master and complaining about too much human company. It annoyed her greatly. She pulled an arrow out of her case and used the dull end of it to bop him on the head, making him fall over.

Sesshoumaru looked back at the fallen toad and Kikyou's angered face as Rin laughed. He turned and smiled to himself. Finally, someone besides him had the nerve to hit that thing once in a while! It was strange how quickly this onna and Rin had become aquainted. That was just how humans were, he guessed. He looked upward at the starry night sky, turning slightly purple with daybreak. The huge golden orb of the sun seemed to rise on cue as he set up a fire.

"What's for breakfast, Sesshoumaru- sama?" Rin asked.

"Hopefully food," he said as he walked to the river and rolled up his sleeve.

Kikyou looked dumbfounded,"You can't catch a fish with your bare ha-"

Sesshoumaru interrupted by gracefully throwing a fish onto the land, followed by three more.

"That's quite impressive," Kikyou said, her hand placed behind her head.

"All it takes is focus. I figured you knew that being one who fights with a bow and arrow."

Kikyou raised an eyebrow. She wasn't sure about that comment. He seemed to mock her with it. He carefully cooked the fish over the fire until they were fresh to eat. He was very quiet, even though he was alluring enough to want to get to know. She wished he'd open up more. Everything might not have been so tense.

"Kikyou- chan want some of Rin's fish?" she asked as Kikyou finished her last bite.

"No thank you," Kikyou said, smiling sweetly. 

Everything seemed to be brighter in just one night. One minute, she was alone in a pit of darkness, the next, she was eating happily with a sweet girl, a handsome young male demon, and a punching ba- I mean toad. Sesshoumaru finished his food and stood quietly. He walked off aimlessly.

"Time for some spying," Kikyou thought.

(She wouldn't normally do that, but you gotta remember that she's a woman and women always spy. ^____^)

Jaken watched Kikyou wander off before Rin practically tackled him, playing a game. He hated being babysitter!

Kikyou watched through the brush as Sesshoumaru stopped at the river. He carefully removed his armor and lay it safely on the ground, followed by his shirt. Kikyou turned away, blushing. She turned back when she heard a splash and saw the demon in the river. From what she could see, he had a very well built body, not puny but no exploding muscles either. He had the red markings of a demon on his fair skin. For a man, he was very beautiful. He quickly ducked his head underwater and came back up, his hair soaking. He squeezed it out and waded back towards the land. Kikyou turned away for a moment but turned back immediately, for this male, in all his beauty, was enchanting. He was sliding his shirt back on when he caught her glare.

"What would you like Kikyou?"

"Oh, uh- I was going to bathe as well, if you don't mind."

"It isn't my river," he snapped as he slipped his armor on and walked past her.

Kikyou bathed in the river as well, still slightly irritated at the dog demon's snap. He HAD to be related to Inuyasha somehow! She would ask him when they walked again. She slowly slipped her clothes back on and walked through the forest in which was so dark at night, but seemed to glow now. She made her way back to the fire and sat, trying to dry her hair. She stifled a laugh as Rin endearingly put another flower crown on Sesshoumaru's head. Sesshoumaru winced at the embarrassing situation, but, again, what was he to do.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama! Your hair is SOO pretty!" Rin said.

This was shameful. He'd had enough.

"Well, we should start our travels again."

"Okay," she said and left the man alone.

Kikyou walked beside Sesshoumaru instead of in the back with Rin and Jaken. He had a very nice profile but his heart seemed to be ice cold. She could be warm if she wanted to but he was always cold, even when he was nice, he was mean! She shook her head as she remembered the question she wanted to ask.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

"What?"

"Are you- related to Inuyasha? Do you even know hi-"

Sesshoumaru flinched and turned to her.

  
"He is my half brother. NEVER mention his name again."

He was mean but he was calm.

"Y-yes," she said.

They continued on in silence until Rin had to rest. Soon after, she was asleep. Sesshoumaru carefully lifted her into his arms and let her lay on his fluffy tail, his arms steadying her. He flashed a smile and continued to walk. Kikyou blinked. He smiled? It was strange to see the sharp one smile. It was amazing how far they had made it by nightfall. She sat down in the blowing grass and lay quietly, listening to the sounds of the night as Sesshoumaru lay Rin on his tail and lay near her. Jaken again had to keep watch for half the night, while Sesshoumaru took the rest until morning. There was a certain softness in the night that seemed to linger at every tip of him. The moonlight cast down on his beautiful silver hair and soft face. She wanted to change him, but she didn't know how. If his attitude would loosen up, just a little, then she might enjoy having him around. Being a woman, she already enjoyed the eye candy of the man.

Morning came bright and early as Kikyou opened her eyes. Sesshoumaru was already cooking breakfast, which was again fish. She was already beginning to hate it. Blech. She brushed the grass off of her and stumbled sleepily over to the fire.

"Did Kikyou sleep well?" Rin asked.

"I did," she said, yawning, "just not long enough."

Rin smiled and Kikyou began to eat her breakfast.

Hopefully, she could devise a plan to have Sesshoumaru show feelings.


	3. Sesshoumaru vs Naraku Round 1

Chapter Three  
  
Rin cheerfully finished her breaksfast. Kikyou wasn't even sure she even tasted it! She stared at the fish she held in her hand and scrunched her face in disgust.  
  
"If you do not like it, you can find something else to eat, but I am not catching it for you."  
  
Kikyou looked up at Sesshoumaru, disgruntled at his cruel comment. It seemed he could say nothing nice. She closed her eyes slowly and let out a long sigh. Her souls, she had not accepted them for she had slept so soundly. She felt faint. She quickly stood and ran off into the forest. Sesshoumaru stood and followed silently, not being questioned by Rin.  
  
Dragons surrounded her as she collapsed. His eyes widened at the site of it. Souls of the dead were filling her body! He cautiously walked towards the young woman as the souls dispersed. Her body lay lifeless on the cold ground. He lowered himself to one knee and lifted her slightly, blinking in confusion. Had the souls really gone into her puny human body? Perhaps, she was stronger than he first imagined. He shook his head and continued to stare in awe that this woman of little strength had just absorbed dead souls. She opened her eyes slowly, revealing the deep dark pools of color. He could see through her soul just by looking into her lovely eyes.  
  
"Sess-sesshou-sesshoumaru?" she asked softly.  
  
"Kikyou," he said, "How and why did you do that to yourself?"  
  
"I- I must stay alive," she said softly, "for my soul was already reincarnated into Kagome. I use these souls to keep myself alive."  
  
"I see," he said, "that is where the souls of the deceased women have gone."  
  
"Yes, that is true."  
  
"Hmph, well it proves strength in you miko, I must say."  
  
"My name is Kikyou," she said flatly.  
  
Sesshoumaru looked at her, a smirk playing on his facinated lips. It was strange that he took that as humour. Normally, he would call people what he wanted to call them, no objections or death. Normally, that snap would have caused his temper to rise and for him to kill her. But this didn't seem to be a normal situation for inside, instead of burning, he was laughing at his mistake of naming.  
  
"I apologize," he said and helped her gain her balance back.  
  
He walked off back towards camp, leaving her behind. Well, that was a start. It was the first time he actually showed something near a smile to her. He even apologized for his own mistake. She laughed under her breath. Boy, that was easier than expected. It wasn't finished though. She had to get closer to him, act like she was part of his family maybe. They both wanted Inuyasha dead, even if she wanted to die with him. Come to think of it, she hadn't dreamt about him lately. That was strange, for she dreamt about him every night. She supposed it was just that there was too much on her mind. She ignored and and followed Sesshoumaru's footprints back to camp.  
  
She pushed herself through the bushes and walked into the sunshine. It was warm and comforting, more than ever. He soul was revitilized and her heart was bright and happy with her new aquaintances, except for maybe Jaken, but perhaps it was a delight to hurt him. (Yeah!) Rin was picking flowers and making crowns, bracelets, and necklaces from them. Sesshoumaru had seemed to disapeer. He must've seen Rin picking the flowers and gone off somewhere. Kikyou giggled under her breath, but then she remembered her plan. She slowly went off to look for him.  
  
"Kikyou-san," Rin interrupted her walk.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will Kikyou help Rin pick flowers for Sesshoumaru-sama?"  
  
"Where is he anyway?"  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama walked that way," Rin motioned ahead of her.  
  
"Well, how about I go get him so you can give him the flowers?"  
  
"OKAY!" Rin said and went back to picking the flowers in the field.  
  
Kikyou grinned as she walked away. What a perfect excuse!  
  
"Kikyou, you are so good," she said before she stopped in her tracks.  
  
There he was. He was- what WAS he doing? It seemed he was doing nothing but something hung in the air that disturbed the very presence of the scene. It was too quiet. Everything was too still. Her heart rate seemed to lift excrusiatingly high.  
  
"GET DOWN!" he said immediately, pushing her to the ground.  
  
A swarm of insects blew in like the wind and blanketed the two, almost like smoke from a large fire. They cleared after what seemed a long time. Kikyou tried to raise up but a hand pushed her to the ground. She looked up to see Sesshoumaru's face, holding a strange expression. She couldn't read his face. It was emotionless. She felt his eyes shift onto her. His gaze seemed to burn into her body. She tried to turn away but couldn't find the strength to. His eyes were rattling her, deep inside he soul. It was almost painful.  
  
"You stay here," was all he said.  
  
She started to raise up before he pushed her down again.  
  
"And stay down," he said and walked through the brush to a baboon- wait- a BABOON?  
  
"What do you want, Naraku," he asked, his voice tearing a hole deep within her.  
  
It wasn't gruff, but in a way it was. It was loud even though it was in a whisper. She felt her heart freeze like an ice cube. She clutched her chest as she peeked through the bushes.  
  
"I want you to do something for me," Naraku said, removing his baboon skin to reveal his pale face.  
  
Sesshoumaru said nothing but pulled out one of his swords and swung it. Naraku had disapeered and reappeared behind him. Sesshoumaru was just able to stop Naraku's sword with his own, making a loud clink throughout the forest. Wait! That name....  
  
Where had she heard it before?  
  
She felt her heart leap as he hands managed ot pull an arrow from the quiver.  
  
"ONIGUMO!" she yelled just before Narku's sword made impact with Sesshoumaru's stomach.  
  
"You're the reason," she said angered, "that I was killed AS WELL AS HUMILIATED AFTER FINDING OUT THAT IT WAS NOT INUYASHA WHOM HAD BETRAYED ME!"  
  
Naraku chuckled.  
  
"You two seemed to be aquainted," he said, his voice stirring the silence.  
  
"KIKYOU! YOU FOOLISH BAKA ONNA!" Sesshoumaru yelled.  
  
Her arrow was released.  
  
Kikyou gasped as it burnt up in mid air. Naraku smirked.  
  
"Don't mess with this power,Kikyou," he said before disapeering.  
  
"KIKYOU! LOOK OUT!" Sesshoumaru yelled as Naraku cut her down the back, blood leaving visciously from her body.  
  
Sesshoumaru felt an anger of which he had not felt before bubbling in his body as a green poison. His breath became more flustered as he stood, his voice barely higher than a whisper.  
  
"Naraku-" was all he said before his eyes glowed red.  
  
Kikyou opened her eyes to see Sesshoumaru screaming at the top of his lungs as his body became larger and transformed into the dog-like form. Her back hurt but she felt worry anyway. Her vision blurred before it was shielded with darkness. She felt her body collapse at the last whim of the roar fo Sesshoumaru.  
  
Her eyes opened to the glow of the setting sun. She moaned as she rose slightly for her back was sore.  
  
"Wh-where am I?" she asked.  
  
"Where do you think you are?" a voice from behind said.  
  
"Sess-sesshoumaru?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Kikyou then noticed her shirt in front of her and her torso and breasts were wrapped in bandages.  
  
"You- saved me?"  
  
Sesshoumaru had no answer but grabbed her shirt and draped it over her shoulders.  
  
"We'll be going soon. Do you think you can take it?"  
  
"Oh, yes, my soul dragons will repair me day by day."  
  
"Fine then. Let's go."  
  
"Sesshoumaru?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Thank you," she said her voice softening as she pulled her shirt over her arms.  
  
"Hmph," he said and walked out the door.  
  
Even though he only snarled, she felt relieved that he was there with her. Some kind of aura seemed to appeal to her. Was it him being a dog demon? Or was it his tough attitude that seemed to scream that it wasn't the real him. She slowly made her way to her feet and out the door, with an immediate embrace from Rin, along with a flower crown. She noticed how Jaken could barely walk due to all the flowers wrapped around him. Sesshoumaru wasn't covered at all. Had he stayed with her? She could never be too sure and wasn't about to ask. But somewhere, deep down, she felt he was beside her the entire night. How she longed to answer to her heart.  
  
Hey, he could change.  
  
He was cold but he wasn't numb...  
  
(Okay, I know, it's a bit OOC. But Sesshy is obviously starting to warm up to Kikyou. I really liked this chapter as a matter of fact. Hopefully you did too! No flames please. Anyway, I want to say hi to my friend Ruby Moon! Read her fics and check out her Sesshoumaru/Kikyou shrine where my fic and edited pictures are located. She's one of my new best friends, by the way and I am wanting to start a Sesshy/Kikyou Club. Where we send emails to our friends which are Inuyasha fans and show them the greatness of the couple! I'll fix up a yahoo group too and give you the link in a later chapter. Let's make this couple shine!  
  
As Always,  
  
Goten0040) 


	4. Awakening to New Feelings

Chapter Four

The night seemed to deepen as they walked. Kikyou was tired and sore but her dragons would come soon. She tried to pull herself foreward. Her legs didn't want to move but they did to her demand. Sesshoumaru turned his face to her for the second time that night. They had been walking awhile and even if he did not turn to her, she could feel his eyes upon her. For some reason, however, they were not boreing a hole in her heart. They seemed to surpress a warm feeling. 

"Kikyou-san okay?" Rin asked.

Kikyou nodded warily.

"Okay!" Rin said cheerfully and continued to skip along the path.

"Kikyou," Sesshoumaru said in his usual cold voice, except for a hint of sleepiness behind it.

"Yes?"

"Your body is giving out," he said softly.

Kikyou was surprised that he had noticed so quickly. She was beginning to slow and her back hurt like Hell itself was beginning to fight it. Her body was urge to move foreward but was giving it all just to do so. Her muscles lurched as she trudged foreward, but her dragons would not come until she was alone, or seemed to be alone. Sesshoumaru turned to her, facing her with his very soul cast dead in front of her.

"Jaken" he said, "You and Rin may rest for a moment."

Jaken stared a moment in confusion but then gladly took the well needed rest. Kikyou's eyes widened when Sesshoumaru lifted her from her feet and carried her a distance into the forest.

"Now your dragons may come," he said.

No sooner than when he said, silver lights seemed to stream across the sky. They slammed into her, causing pain but she could feel her body live again. Her back wasn't completely healed but was feeling much better than before.

"I am very fond of you, Sesshoumaru," Kikyou said, grateful for the demon lord's help.

"You don't have to be," he said, turning to her, something lingering deep in his eyes that not many would notice.

His golden eyes seemed to hide a certain despair much like her own. He looked much different from Inuyasha, especially at this very moment. She could hear the screams behind his eyes, the cries, the silence- that dreadful silence that meant anything but peace. She pulled herself up and continued to watch the demon.

"It isn't polite to stare,Kikyou," he said, closing the beautiful eyes, his lips flashing a small smirk.

Kikyou blushed and turned away. She didn't mean to continually stare at him. It was just that his eyes facinated her. It seemed to be where he kept all of his emotions. Not many were succesful at seeing it either. She made her way into following him, her eyes cast upon his silver hair, blowing ever-so- slightly with the curse of every wind. His hair was lovely but not as captivating as his eyes. Those eyes that held a scent of sadness and betrayal. They were desparate, and wise at the same time. How she wished to talk to him about his past. She had known Inuyasha's but not his half brother's. He never really brought up the subject except that he always hated his mother and him. 

But why? Why did he hate them so much without trying to see into their hearts as he did with his companions? There was still much to know, and she knew she would know in good time. She sat on the grass as Sesshoumaru started up a fire, it's orange glow reflecting on the sleeping girl and toad.

"What are you thinking about, Sesshoumaru?" Kikyou asked, wary of how he might react.

"Nothing of your concern. You should rest. We have a long day ahead of us," Sesshoumaru said and continued to stare into the orange flame.

"You should know, that I am stubborn and I will not do as you say until I get an answer," she said, smiling.

"Ah, I do believe we are all stubborn," he said.

"So what is your answer?"

"Go to sleep, Kikyou." 

Kikyou decided not to argue anymore, although it still hung in the back of her mind as she lay, watching the grass blow with every stray wind. A small cricket hopped from blade to blade as she focused on it. It seemed so small- too small to survive, and yet it managed to live through every bloddy battle it had seen. How could something so small survive? Perhaps, it was the very little chance it had that kept it alive. She turned her eyes up to Sesshoumaru, who was watching the night sky, seeming to search it for something. Was he searching for answers? He could even be searching for questions. Or maybe, he was thinking about something meaningful to him. But what could be meaningful to him-a demon who supposively was too cold to care?

***

"That woman will be the death of me," he thought.

"And yet, I am fond of her too," he stared at the sky as it blew through his mind.

His mind began to wander off to the night before. He remembered a burning rage, deep inside of him that he had never transformed by. But it seemed that one moment later, he was carrying Kikyou's befallen body back to the small area they lived at for the day. There was a small hut nearby and he had taken her there. Blood still stained his hands to this day. All it did though, would remind him of her. Her face was like the moon, as was the rest of her body, a milky pale. He remembered wrapping up her body as it lie in all it's glory. He lie her on the soft blanket on the floor and stood to leave. Then he remembered turning to look at her once more before leaving and not being able to take his eyes off of her. Her shadowed hair curved perfectly around her face and waved in a perfect essence along the floor. He caught himself sliding down the wall, and continuing to watch her.

__

"I'll protect you," he remembered saying, repeating it over an dover in his mind.

He lay back and stared at the sky. IT was lovely but not near as lovely as the woman that lay just across the fire. He could not believe his thoughts on the matter. How could he feel this way about a human? Of course, Inuyasha was this way, but he had forgotten that it wasn't just because of Inuyasha's mother. He had his father's blood too. Curse that dog demon! His eyelids grew heavy until he finally drifted into a sleep.

***

Kikyou opened her eyes to bright sunlight. She raised up and stretched ever so slightly before looking at her surroundings. Rin was splashing Jaken with stream water to his detest. Sesshoumaru watched quietly, no emotion on his face. He really didn't seem to be watching them at all, but lsitening to the thoughts in his head. Kikyou moved towards him with very little intend to speak. His eyes seemed glazed over with thoughts. It was strange to see him this way. She longed to ask about his thoughts but he would merely snap 'none of your concern' and continue with his dreams. She sat beside him, as a cool breeze picked up and blew her hair, along with his back slightly. It was cool and refreshing and carried the scent of far away sakura trees.

***

"What is it that you wish to know about me, Kikyou," Sesshoumaru said blankly, not moving his eyes from the straight-foreward posistion they were in.

He felt Kikyou's eyes upon him, but he would not turn to look at her. This was the predicament he had figured would happen. He knew he would ask her this question today.

"Well, Sesshoumaru, there is much to know about you. I do not know you at all. It is hard for me to answer your queston, Sesshoumaru." 

"Yes, I agree, there is much you want to know. I can see that. You are very different, Kikyou."

"What do you mean-different?"

"You want to learn about me and yet, there is also much to learn about you as well."

"Me?"

"Yes, I understand you told much of this to Inuyasha?"

"Yes, I did."

"Kikyou, I will tell you everything about me, if and only if you tell me everything about yourself. We shall meet by the river at midnight," he said and walked away after abrief pause.

Kikyou pondered his speech. Why was he sudden;y ready to talk to her? Had Naraku injured him? What was going on? Perhaps, she had just gained his trust by nearly dying for him. This she wasn't sure of. But she did know that she would be positive tonight. She pulled her hair back as the sun began to beam on her in the heat of noon. She didn't know how long she sat there, thinking, but it had to have been awhile. She sighed and lifted herself from the grass, dusting herself off. She walked over to where Rin was eating some cooked deer Sesshoumaru had killed. The wonders of the food chain, how one must eat the other to survive. It was so selfish, but what can you do when your starving to death and need to carry on the messages of goals in your life? She made her way to the stream and splashed herself with the chilling water of the stream. Her reflection was soft but differnet somehow….

***

Sesshoumaru walked into the forest and stood under the shade of the green trees. He leaned against one, as he wondered what would happen. Who would know? He normally would but this time, it was frightening. He had never explained his past to anyone, much less a human. She would have to know though. He trusted her. She would fight ot the death for him just because she was an aquaintence. Yes, he had grown fond of her. She wasn't like Kagome at all. She had a past much more like his own than she knew. She was despaired, betrayed, and loved before that, causing her to sink lower in life after relizing the reason the loved one had left. She thought it was her fault. They were alike, indeed-very alike. He closed his eyes and heaved a sigh from his throat. This was way too confusing.

***

Naraku watched from a tree above. It appeared he had some snooping to do. If anything happened, he would surely get revenge- and enjoy it as well. He chuckled at the thought as he disapeered into the darkness of the trees.

***

Rin curled up on Sesshoumaru's beridden tail and slept soundly as the moon rose higher in the sky. Jaken was nodding off and Sesshoumaru had already left. Kikyou rose from the small nap she had taken and walked into the forest, looking for the river. It was sparkling in the moolight. She saw the demon's eyes again as he turned to her.

"Sit Down, Kikyou," he said.


	5. The Beginning of New Beginnings

Chapter Five  
  
"So what happened to make you so- I mean that- no I mean-" Kikyou tried to find the right words.  
  
"Cold?"  
  
"Y-yes," Kikyou said softly, staring at her hands.  
  
"It's a long story, but I'm prepared to tell you," he said.  
  
"Go on," she said.  
  
"Okay," he said, letting out a long shuddering sigh.  
  
"My mother- her name was Meiko. She took care of me most of my childhood- so to speak. My father, Sanomaru, had mated her due to her looks as I soon found out later. He needed an aire before he went into a deadly battle, which he wasn't sure he could win.That was me. I'm not sure if he actually wanted anything but courtship out of her, but I know she loved me so."  
  
Sesshoumaru took a pause as if to reminise his mother's face and to take a deep sigh.  
  
"I was only twelve when she died. My father had left a year before to the eastern lands and returned, sending me away. I returned early and saw her slain with my father's own hand. He- he had this look in his eyes that wasn't even the match for a demon. He looked like Hell itself had taken over his body. I'd never seen anything like that before. Then I noticed my mother as my father laughed about a human he had mated. I promised I would never care for anyone again- and NEVER humans. But now look at me," Sesshoumaru smirked to himself as if he was trying to humor himself with his feelings.  
  
"Sesshoumaru," Kikyou said, a sad tone taking to her voice.  
  
She tried to read his feelings through his eyes when a light caught her attention. What was it? HER SOUL DRAGONS WERE COMING? They zoomed around the both of them now, Kikyou watching their every move. She felt her knees drag forward on the ground until she felt Sesshoumaru's body against hers, including his lips. The dragons soared around the two, but Kikyou just could not bring her lips from his. She kept her eyes open however. She wanted to keep staring into his eyes. This was the closest she would ever be to his eyes, which were staring deep into hers.  
  
***  
  
Rin gasped at the sight.  
  
"LOOK JAKEN-SAMA!" Rin yelled happily.  
  
Jaken gawked at the sight.  
  
"WHAT THE?!"  
  
***  
  
Sesshoumaru didn't know what to say. He softly pulled his lips away from her cherry lips. HE felt a warm sensation in his chest and his mind fluttered with thoughts. He had to say something to break the everlasting silence. He opened his mouth to scold her.  
  
"Kikyou," was all that came from his mouth.  
  
Kikyou stayed silent. Sesshoumaru longed to bring his lips back to hers, but his pride dared him not to.  
  
"I uh- I'm sorry," Kikyou said, staring at the cold ground, still feeling his lips upon hers.  
  
"It never happened," he said and walked away.  
  
Kikyou could only nod and look back to the river.  
  
"KIKYOU-SAN!!!" Rin yelled happily as she approached. "RIN SO HAPPY FOR YOU!"  
  
Kikyou shook her head.  
  
"It was an accident."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
***  
  
"LORD SESSHOUMARU! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"  
  
"Didn't I just say it was an accident. Go pester some other demon," Sesshoumaru said, hiding his boiling anger from the irritating frog.  
  
"But- Sesshoumaru-"  
  
Sesshoumaru wanted no more of this. He kicked Jaken over and step on him multiple times before making his way back to camp alone. Jaken lie motionless for quite some time.  
  
"How could I have- why did I?" Sesshoumaru tried to sort through his thoughts. It felt like there were two people in his body. "She is pretty. BUT SHE'S A HUMAN NONE THE LESS!"  
  
He wanted to bang his head against a nearby tree, but decided against it. This wasn't him. This wasn't THE Sesshoumaru. This was... someone else.  
  
***  
  
Naraku felt his hands clenching, his nails digging into his palms.  
  
"He- shall pay- for this," he growled.  
  
He reached into his cloak and pulled out a jewel shard. Placing it in some sort of poison, he placed it in a small bamboo reed. He blew on the end, sending it towards the dog demon.  
  
***  
  
Sesshoumaru slapped his neck.  
  
"What?" he thought as he held the small object in his hand.  
  
He discarded it to the side and continued on with his thoughts.  
  
***  
  
Kikyou took in a long sigh, not letting it out.  
  
"Oh, no," she thought, "he's around."  
  
"Come out, Naraku," Kikyou hissed.  
  
The monkey slowly emerged from the trees.  
  
"I suggest you gather your strengths, Kikyou. I WILL kill you but at the moment, I have not the power. But I will- very soon indeed."  
  
And with that, he disapeered into smoke. Rin coughed along with Kikyou as he made his escape. What did he mean? He had something up his sleeve and with all those Shikon shards, it was going to happen soon. Kikyou and Rin made their way back to Sesshoumaru, Rin picking up Jaken on the way. Sesshoumaru leaned against a tree, slowly nodding off to sleep. His eyelids drooped and his head tilted slowly. Kikyou made no move to wake him from his dozing and decided to start a fire instead.  
  
"Nothing should happen yet," she thought, "what could Naraku do overnight? We're soon to know I guess."  
  
***  
  
(Boy, this chapter sucked. I promise the next one will be better.) 


	6. Closing My Eyes to See You

Chapter Six  
  
Sesshoumaru opened his eyes slowly the next morning. His head hurt the moment the sunlight touched his eyes. He moaned slightly at the heartbeat in his head as he stood and stretched. He made his way over to the fire and sat, staring at the food. He didn't want it, but he knew he had to eat it to bring up his strength. He didn't seem to have any at all. Perhaps Kikyou's soul dragons had taken some energy from him. He wasn't quite sure. All he knew was that he was tired but not sleepy.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin said quietly, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," he snapped.  
  
Rin looked back at her food and continued to eat. She was wary of what he might say next. He was sure grumpy this morning.  
  
"That's no way to talk to a child, Sesshoumaru," Kikyou said, taking on the same tone as he.  
  
"Whatever," he said and stared away from her.  
  
This was the last thing he needed right now.  
  
"You should apologize. Rin looks up to you."  
  
"Just stay off my case, bitch," Sesshoumaru snapped.  
  
"Hey, don't call me a bitch!" Kikyou said standing, her voice rising as well.  
  
"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" he yelled.  
  
Kikyou sat down slowly and silently. Could this have been about the kiss last night? She was hoping he would be much softer and easy to talk to but now it was just hard.  
  
"Sesshoumaru!" Kikyou yelled as she grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"What?!" he asked as he spun around to look her in the eye.  
  
His eyes were full of pain, physical pain.  
  
"You're hurt."  
  
"No," he said before his breath picked up and he hit his knees, "but something's wrong with me."  
  
"Sesshoumaru!" Kikyou said as she sank down and put her hand on his forehead.  
  
"I-I'm fine," he said stubbornly before hitting a coughing attack.  
  
Kikyou was worried he wouldn't stop coughing. The last cough he hacked was loud and ragged. Kikyou saw blood running between his fingers.  
  
"Oh dear god," Kikyou thought as his forehead seemed to fry her hand, "what could've happened?"  
  
"Rin," Kikyou said, her voice urgent, "Do you remember those tiny yellow flowers we saw yesterday?"  
  
Rin nodded.  
  
"Get a bunch of them. Oh AND SOME PURPLE ONES TOO!" Kikyou yelled after the running child.  
  
She slowly helped Sesshoumaru over to a loft where she had slept.  
  
"Jaken, can you get those orange flowers by the river?"  
  
"Right away!" he said, for fear of his master, not out of respect for the human.  
  
"I'll be right back," she said and grabbed a bucket, running to find the coldest stream she could.  
  
***  
  
"C'mon Kagome! We don't have all day!" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
Kagome was watching the trees. Something had caught her attention. Suddenly, she saw a young woman running through the trees.  
  
"I'll be right back!" she yelled and ran into the trees.  
  
"I suppose that means wait here," Miroku said as he sat next to Sango, only to be slapped off the log and replaced by Shippo.  
  
"Feh," Inu said and hopped into a nearby tree.  
  
***  
  
"Kikyou," she heard.  
  
She gasped and turned quickly from the stream.  
  
"Kagome," she said in a deadpan voice.  
  
"Don't talk to me that way. I AM you afterall," Kagome said in a matter of fact voice.  
  
"Whatever. I don't have time to talk to you. Someone I care about might die any minute now. Out of my way!" Kikyou said as she shoved Kagome to the side, carrying a bucket full of freezing water.  
  
Kagome stood and watched the priestess run in the opposite direction and then headed back to the others.  
  
"What was it?" Inu asked.  
  
"Nothing," Kagome lied and continued on following the others.  
  
***  
  
Kikyou placed the cool cloth on Sesshoumaru's forehead when it flashed in her head.  
  
"NARAKU!" Kikyou yelled.  
  
Sesshoumaru stirred.  
  
"Naraku what?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
"Ow, whatever."  
  
"Just relax. I'll help you," Kikyou said.  
  
Sesshoumaru just lay there.  
  
"Rin back!" Rin yelled.  
  
"Good, give me the herbs."  
  
"Here."  
  
"Thank you," Kikyou said as she began to mix everything and water into a syrup.  
  
"Lord Sesshoumaru is acting strange!" Jaken said.  
  
"Huh?" Kikyou turned to see Sesshoumaru, holding his forehead, blood dripping from his hand.  
  
"Sesshoumaru!" Kikyou said alloud as she made her way to him.  
  
She removed his hand and saw the cresent moon on his head, dripping with dark red blood.  
  
"How could a mere marking bleed?" Kikyou thought alloud as she placed a cloth on his head, trying to stop the bleeding.  
  
"Oh, Lord, this is going to be a long night," Kikyou thought as she lay him on the grass again. 


	7. Unexpected and unwanted, but done anyway

Chapter Seven  
  
Sesshoumaru opened his eyes slowly. He felt no pain as he tried to get up.  
  
"Huh?" he thought as he saw Kikyou asleep beside him with many herbs around her.  
  
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened.  
  
"No matter what I say or do to her, she's loyal. I wonder if she was like this with Inuyasha," he thought.  
  
He rose up and pulled himself to his feet. Rin was asleep in the grass a few feet off and Jaken fell asleep watching her from a tree. He walked down to the river, closing his eyes and splashing water on his face and hair, cleansing him from his dirty face. He looked in the water and blinked.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
***  
  
Kikyou gasped as she awoke and ran to find where Sesshoumaru had gone.  
  
"He couldn't have gone far," she thought as she ran.  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks, he face having a pink tone to it. The young man rose his head from the water, as silky black hair flowed with his every move. His eyes were a bright icy blue and his face and arms were flawless from what she saw. She heard him curse for a moment as he stared into the water.  
  
***  
  
Sesshoumaru lifted his hand to his face. There were no markings. He pulled his hair in front of his eyes to see black, not silver. He reached for his shoulder and found it bare. No tail. What had happened?  
  
***  
  
"Hello," Kikyou said.  
  
"Wha?" the young man said.  
  
***  
  
"How could I not hear Kikyou approach?! I couldn't smell her either!" he thought.  
  
"Kikyou," he said.  
  
***  
  
That voice.  
  
"SESSHOUMARU?!"  
  
"I'm not exactly sure," he said, looking back in the water.  
  
"Y-you-you're a-a-a HUMAN!"  
  
"But how?!"  
  
"Hell if I know!"  
  
"Well I'd appreciate it if you did!"  
  
"It isn't my fault!"  
  
"Well, it's not mine either."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"WAIT!" Kikyou yelled, "NARAKU!"  
  
"Naraku? What did HE have to do with this?"  
  
"He told me that he didn't have the power to defeat us-or something like that- and said he would soon enough. But that was a couple of nights ago! He must have taken your powers!"  
  
"Hmm," Sesshoumaru said, "but wouldn't you think I'd notice?"  
  
"True," Kikyou said, "Unless he got you from behind."  
  
"I wouldn't be fooled that ea-" Sesshoumaru was cut off by Kikyou moving her hands through his hair.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?"  
  
Kikyou pushed Sesshoumaru's hair over his shoulders and gasped. He had a large scar in the back of his neck, shaped like a spider.  
  
"Naraku did do this. He left a scar like his on the back of your neck."  
  
"Well, I'll just have to get my power back."  
  
"And how are you going to do it by yourself."  
  
"I don't know! You guys aren't any help! What we need is someone who can keep up with me, with the power to defeat me. But where are we going to find someone like that."  
  
Kikyou smiled.  
  
"Oh, no, not him. I refuse to ask for his help!"  
  
"Hey, I'm not looking forward to it either. But he's the only one who can help!"  
  
"NO WAY IN HELL!"  
  
"THEN HOW ABOUT I DRAG YOU DOWN TO HELL?!"  
  
"I will not do this," he said, standing abruptly, causing Kikyou to fall over.  
  
***  
  
"WHAT?! KAGOME, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!" Inuyasha asked loudly.  
  
"Well, Kikyou mentioned that she cared about someone who might be dying. I thought you'd get mad," Kagome said nervously.  
  
"Damn," Inuyasha said, "who would she care about so much to not kill you though?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well, I know you don't know!"  
  
"Hey, wait a minute. You act like you WANTED her to kill me!"  
  
"N-no-"  
  
"SIT!"  
  
"Ugggggh," Inu moaned.  
  
He perked up suddenly as he jumped up onto his feet.  
  
"Hey, that's a new smell," Inu said, "I haven't smelt it in this area until now."  
  
"Shall we follow it Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.  
  
"Yeah," he said and took off into the forest.  
  
***  
  
"Sesshoumaru, what else can we do?" Kikyou said.  
  
"I don't know. I will figure out another way though," he said, sighing.  
  
"Why are you so selfish?!"  
  
"I was raised that way okay?!"  
  
Kikyou got quiet, remembering his story. She could see why he was always so mean. He must have figured that if he had ever gotten close to someone again, they would be put in danger. Rin had been nearly killed many times and she- She was already dead. It had become so appealing to her at this one moment. She felt her eyes fill with tears that rolled down her cheeks.  
  
"My life hasn't been perfect either and neither has my death!"  
  
Sesshoumaru turned to look at the woman weeping. He felt his heart beating faster. What was this feeling? It was rushing all over his body. He couldn't have human emotions too could he?!  
  
"Damn," he said softly.  
  
"Huh? W-what?" Kikyou asked.  
  
"Stupid human body," he muttered, "stupid emotions."  
  
Kikyou laughed.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"I just think it's funny," she said.  
  
"You're a simple woman, considering you're so complicated," Sesshoumaru said.  
  
"I have to say the same, with the exception that you are male."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"So are you going to do it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, I refuse to work with him and I don't want him to see me in this pitiful state."  
  
"Well, then I'LL ask for help."  
  
"You give up very easily Kikyou."  
  
"Hmph. I do not. You're just stubborn and stupid."  
  
"Oh contrare, Kikyou-san, you are the stupid one, thinking that they would except us anyway."  
  
Kikyou stuck her tounge out at the de-human.  
  
"You are more immature than Rin herself."  
  
"At least I live a life!"  
  
"But you're dead."  
  
"You act dead."  
  
"Better than being dead, you clay pot!"  
  
"You're brother is more demon than you at the moment, but no matter. He kick your ass anyway." (GO KIKYOU!)  
  
Sesshoumaru stayed silent.  
  
"Than why the hell do you continue to follow me?"  
  
"Rin likes me."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Yup, that's about it."  
  
"You can't be serious. You spend more time with me than you do with her."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"Why don't you just admit it?"  
  
"Admit it? Admit what?"  
  
"Huh? Nevermind."  
  
"Hey, where ya' goin'?!"  
  
Kikyou blushed. He couldn't mean- no, it was probably her imagination.  
  
***  
  
Inuyasha stopped abruptly as he saw the priestess by the stream.  
  
"Kikyou," he whispered.  
  
"Inuyasha, she isn't with anyone," Kagome said.  
  
"Maybe he's just not there," Shippo said, "can we leave now?"  
  
"Shut up, kitsune," Inu said and kicked him backwards.  
  
Kagome walked through the brush and headed towards the other one.  
  
"Huh? KAGOME! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"  
  
"Inuyasha!" Kikyou exclaimed.  
  
Inu flinched from behind Kagome. He was sure she was going to kill him.  
  
"Just the person I wanted to see."  
  
"Wha-"  
  
"You see, I need your help," she said, batting her eyelashes with her cat like smile.  
  
Kagome lowered her eyes with jealousy.  
  
"What exactly do you want?"  
  
"Well, I have a- friend who is too stubborn to ask for your help. But Naraku took his demon powers and he needs them back before Naraku kills us all."  
  
"You make this sound awfully simple," Miroku said out of nowhere, "Are you sending us into some trap?"  
  
"Aw, c'mon guys! This is Kikyou!"  
  
"Yeah," Sango said, "Your ex girlfriend who wants to kill you."  
  
"Here," Kikyou said, "I'll make you a deal. If you are able to retrieve his powers, than I will give you the Shikon Jewel."  
  
"And if we don't?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Why not? Let's give it a shot!"  
  
"Oh brother," Kago said, "Get over yourself Inuyasha. Do you think that if you help her, she's going to love you again?"  
  
"No, well yes, but-"  
  
"Sit."  
  
Kikyou watched the demon hit the ground.  
  
"What'd you do that for?!"  
  
"I would guess your stupid behavior," Miroku said.  
  
"Who is the demon we're helping anyway?"  
  
"Well, at the moment, he's a human."  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
***  
  
"Kikyou-" Sesshoumaru stopped at the sight of his half-brother.  
  
"That's him," she said.  
  
"Who is he?" Inu asked, confused.  
  
"He looks familiar," Sango said.  
  
"Indeed he does,"Miroku said.  
  
"H-hey! Doesn't he look a lot like-like-" Kagome said.  
  
"Sesshoumaru?" he interuppted.  
  
"WHAT?!" All except Kikyou and Sesshoumaru yelled.  
  
"Sesshoumaru? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Inuyasha laughed, falling over and banging his fists on the ground.  
  
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen," Miroku grinned.  
  
"I suppose that is why you are still standing."  
  
Miroku took it very harshly.  
  
"I can't believe you're asking US for help!" Kagome said.  
  
"Well, we didn't really have a choice," Kikyou said.  
  
"Wait," Inu said as he stopped laughing, "you two- know each other?"  
  
Kagome gasped inside her head. Was Sesshoumaru the one she was so worried about?  
  
"Travel together in fact," Sesshoumaru said, happy that he had one thing above his brother.  
  
"WHA? KIKYOU! HOW COULD YOU-"  
  
"I'm outta here!" Shippo said, expecting a battle, but stopped as he saw a young girl by Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Wooooooow," he said, falling instantly in love.  
  
"She's- so cute," Kago said as she looked at the young girl.  
  
Rin walked up to the others and held out her hand.  
  
"Rin," she said.  
  
Miroku was mesmerized by the cuteness of the girl. He instantly went into daddy mode. (You wouldn't expect him to be able to do that, but he does. XP)  
  
"Aren't you just the cutest little thing!" Miroku said hugging her, "much like myself at your age!"  
  
"Except female and totally different," Inu said flatly.  
  
Rin was laughing already.  
  
"H-hi," Shippo said, "I'm Oppihs- der- SHIPPO!"  
  
"Nice to meet Oppihsdershippo!"Rin said.  
  
"Just call him Shippo," Kago said.  
  
"So, you're going to help us right?" Kikyou asked, "or shall we take our leave."  
  
"SURE!" Miroku said.  
  
"Weren't you against it ten minutes ago?" Inu asked.  
  
"I could never go against you, Inuyasha," Miroku said.  
  
"Feh, whatever. Okay. We'll help you. On one condition."  
  
"What's that?" Kikyou asked.  
  
"You can't hurt us- anymore- for the rest of time itself."  
  
"Like we can hurt you anyway," Kikyou said in a slight baby-talk, pinching her ex-lover's cheek.  
  
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes.  
  
"So do we do exactly?" he asked flatly.  
  
"Lord Sesshoumaru- sama!" Jaken said before getting stepped on.  
  
"We get aquainted!" Kago said, "C'mon everyone!"  
  
"Damn," Inu and Sesshoumaru said at the same time before running to catch up with the others. 


	8. Hate and Love Tears and Kisses

Chapter Eight  
  
The stars sparkled in the black-blue sky. It matched his hair that had once been like the silver clouds in a daylit sky. His eyes remained focused on the stars as if searching for an answer that had no question. She wanted to approach him so much, but she couldn't. She couldn't move her feet from the spot in which she stood. His face was so- young. It was like he was a child again, looking into his mother's eyes, asking so many questions but getting no answer. He lowered his head, obviously in shame.  
  
"Sesshoumaru,"she thought, "why are you so ashamed? Is it because you are that of the human race, or that you let yourself become one?"  
  
***  
  
"Damn," he cursed to himself, "I was always against Inuyasha because he was a hanyou. But now I, the-once- great Sesshoumaru, demon lord, am now of a lower being then he. A human. Worst of all, I let my guard down and allowed myself to become vulnerable. All because of her. No, no, don't go blaming this on her. It's your own fault."  
  
"Hey," Inuyasha said as he approached, his voice slightly venomous, "You're not planning to kill us or anything are you? I could kill you right here, right now if I wanted to."  
  
"Yes, you could, you could before. Now leave me be. You stay off my back, and I'll stay off yours. This isn't easy for me either. You didn't loose anything through this. I did. I lost my demon blood, and my pride. Honestly, I'd never join YOU even if my life depended on it. But it's not my life on the line. It's Rin's and Kikyou's. They're weak and vulnerable, just like Kagome. Naraku is sure to go after them first."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right. But you'd be surprised. Both Kikyou and Kagome are tough gals. They can hold their own."  
  
"Yes, maybe in a normal battle. But this is Naraku. Try sleeping on that," Sesshoumaru said as he stood and began to walk away.  
  
"Where the hell are you going?"  
  
"To think. I can't get much of that done in this atmosphere."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Inuyasha,"Kikyou muttered.  
  
The two men turned to see the miko, clad in her normal clothing, with the same, sad, expression on her face. It was so normal, but so moving. Sesshoumaru felt like he was swaying and moved his eyes to his feet, making sure he wasn't moving around in a drunken fashion.  
  
"What?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Will. Will you two stop bickering for just a minute?! You are related in blood. Maybe not completely but you are! Nothing can change that!"  
  
"It doesn't matter," Sesshoumaru spat, "you'd never understand. So keep your optimist ass right out of it!"  
  
***  
  
Kikyou felt like she had had a blow to the chest. He had never talked to her in such a manner. Sometimes he was mean, but the tone he took was just. agonizing.  
  
"You have no right to talk to me that wa-"  
  
"I'll say whatever I like!" Sesshoumaru interrupted loudly and stormed off.  
  
"Wait!" Kikyou said and took his arm, "I have one more thing."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
Kikyou slapped him across the face as tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
"I don't need your damn help. I'll take Rin and we can be happy without you!" and with that she ran off.  
  
"Hmph," Inuyasha said, "try caring about others once in a while. You'd be surprised, bastard."  
  
Sesshoumaru stood for a long while after Inuyasha stomped off. He let out a long sigh and continued to stand. Maybe she would come back but it was highly doubtful. He didn't want her to come back. If he had to look at her face again he- would feel like a bastard for treating so horribly. He let the wind hit him in the face. It felt like the cold slap he had received only minutes-that seemed like hours- ago.  
  
"I wonder if she will really take Rin and be off?" he told himself, "no matter. She deserves better- to be with each other. I might as well just leave."  
  
He slowly turned his back and began to walk, only to stop and turn around. He couldn't move. He didn't want to. He wanted to curse this human body for having these strange, new emotions. Why was his heart pounding and his face hurting? He finally made his way into the forest trying to hide from this feeling. His heart beat faster as things flashed through his mind. His mother, Rin, Kikyou, mother, Kikyou, Rin, Kikyou, Rin, mother...  
  
He cried.  
  
Hot tears of anger and sorrow ran down his cheeks. His face was slightly distorted as he pulled himself up against a tree and lay his head in his knees to hide the pain that had lay dormant in his heart for so long. Human emotions- they were relieving him but paining him more. This wasn't supposed to be this way!  
  
"Mother," he whispered, "I-I'm sorry."  
  
***Flashback***  
  
"Mothe-" the young demon stopped as he heard the argument.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU SANOMARU?!"  
  
"HOW DARE I WHAT?!"  
  
"YOU CHEATED ON ME! WITH A HUMAN NONE THE LESS! THIS IS LOW OF YOU! TOO LOW!"  
  
"JUST SHUT UP!" the man yelled and stormed off.  
  
Sesshoumaru ran to his mother as she wept on the grass.  
  
"Mother, what happened?"  
  
"Nothing. Now go. Go play in the fields or something. I want to be alone," she said.  
  
"Yes mother," Sesshoumaru said and walked off, saddened at his mother.  
  
He sat in the field for a long time, just shuffling through his thoughts.  
  
"Mother, I promise on my own life, that I will never love- or even trust a human EVER," he spoke softly to the wind as his hair blew along with the sakura trees.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
"It was never to be this way. How could I have wronged you?!" he said into his knees, sobs deep in his throat, nearly choking him.  
  
***  
  
Kikyou made her way through the trees, pushing aside bushes and smaller tress as she walked.  
  
"Maybe I went to hard on him," she thought, "I mean, I wouldn't be alive- well basically- right now if it wasn't for him. I better look for him and straighten things out. Oh, why must I be so cruel?"  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks. There he was. Was he... crying? He was- but why?  
  
"Se-sess-" she studdered.  
  
He looked up abruptly and glared at her with extremely sorrowful eyes. She had never seen eyes like his ice blue ones looking in that way.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked, averting his face from her.  
  
"Maybe we should talk," she said.  
  
"No, I don't want to hear it."  
  
"I'm not here to lecture you I-"  
  
"YES YOU ARE! Everyone is! They always have been! They either confuse me, hurt me, or lecture me! So which of the three are YOU Kikyou? WHICH?!"  
  
"JUST CALM DOWN!" she yelled as he turned away completely, only showing his long jet black hair to her.  
  
"I WILL NOT! JUST GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!"  
  
"SESSHOUMARU!"  
  
"GO AWAY!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"WHY?!" he yelled as he ran to her and grabbbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly.  
  
Kikyou couldn't control herself anymore. She kissed him softly on the lips as tears ran down her pale cheeks. She pulled her arms around his neck. What a strange feeling. She had never felt this way with Inuyasha. Was it because of his intelligent ideas and conversing but hidden desires and emotions that made her sudden;y go wild over him. He suddenly pulled away from her and she last her balance, falling to the ground. She looked up at him. His eyes were slightly dialated and he held an unreadable look.  
  
"Go away," he muttered.  
  
"Se-"  
  
"GO!"  
  
Kikyou backed away as she teared.  
  
"But-"  
  
"I told you to go. Now go. I-I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! TAKE RIN AND GO!"  
  
"Sesshoumaru," Kikyou whispered, tears stroking her face.  
  
Sesshoumaru turned away.  
  
"Why?" she begged.  
  
"Because I never want to see a human again."  
  
"Then I suppose you will not look in the water ever again," she said softly.  
  
Sesshoumaru percked up slightly.  
  
"Yes, I suppose not."  
  
"Sesshoumaru, I don't know why you are suddenly so scared of us, but we are not the way you picture us. You have traveled with us for a long time. I thought you'd know us better than that."  
  
"I thought I knew myself better than anyone," he said, his voice venomous and sad.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just go," he said, "I will return to you later. I just need to be...alone. Now go."  
  
Kikyou didn't move.  
  
"GO DAMMIT!"  
  
Kikyou backed away and then ran deep into the forest. She made it back to the campsite in record time and crawled inside a tent they had set up and curled up inside, pulling a blanket over her head. She was strong. She was strong. No, she was not. She was a weak woman who was crying over a cruel demon that acted as if he cared less if she lived or died.  
  
"Love and hate are so hard to figure out," she thought and pulled herself into a little ball and fell asleep.  
  
(KEEP IN MIND THAT SESSHOUMARU IS HUMAN AND CANNOT HIDE HIS EMOTIONS! I thought a drama chapter would be cool. So here it is. Hope you liked it.) 


End file.
